No Consideration for Dieting Food Bloggers

A review of Royal Teas, Greenwich.

Royal teas has always sounded like an intriguing name for a vegetarian cafe. The ‘royal’ bit, yep well it is located on Royal Hill, the teas bit, yep full of teas (more about that later) but the combination of royal and teas sounds like a cream tea destination, and yes it does do cream tea… which is vegetarian…. But it isn’t Vegetarian (that’s a capital ‘V’ there just in case it’s too early in the morning to tell) in the way that is indicative of the aubergine hanging over the words Royal Teas on the logo. Get what I’m saying?


You know what else? Being located very close to my beloved Buenous Ares cafe, It has taken me 11 years of Greenwich, Blackheath living to get thought the front door. This is not just because the Argentinian location is definitely not vegetarian, but that it has cake and a sofa that I know about.

There were some fabulous looking all day breakfast options, including an Americana tortilla of beans and cheese and eggs. My only reason for passing this by, was that I had already had 2 eggs for breakfast.

We ordered smoked salmon baguette,


houmous and crudities and deep fried halloumi.

Where are we on deep fried halloumi? My personal opinion is that cheese is mostly fat, so putting extra fat on the outside can’t really change that too much. Have a smaller piece if it bothers you? We had a long wait for both of these items, but they were delivered with the most gorgeous fresh and colourful salad, which given the affordability of the meal was impressive.

The lapsang souchong we ordered along side was very watery to the extent I could taste water more that I could taste lapsang. Tea should never taste of water right? One might consider its ability to make water taste of something other than water to bite the raison d’être of tea. The charming proprietor balked not at actually opening a new packet for us, from which new cups were filled.


And here is the best part: A Cake Filing System.


What a great way to showcase cake! Especially in a quaint cottage interior like this one. I want one of these built into my quaint cottage rectory fields. I might have to throw out the washing machine to make room for it, but it needs no plumbing.

We went for ginger cake. This was full of dried fruit and was unexpectedly offered hot with ice cream. The heat made the ginger creep into your nose (this was a good thing). Despite sharing we were given 2 scoops of ice cream (no consideration for dieting food bloggers), which seemed to me to be dairy vanilla, but to my husband clotted cream. Enlightenment welcome.

Royal Teas
76 Royal Hill, SE10


Location is the strong point, a review of Charlton Lido

Unfortunately whether I blog about the lido cafe, or I do not blog about the lido cafe, it seems that you all know about it anyway, and are filling the aisles with your towels.

Of course when I refer to this being a blog about the lido cafe, I really mean this is about the whole lido sun terrace (where you can also buy a cup of tea) experience, and the should -try-harder cafe is a bit of an excuse for this review.

There aren’t any pictures in this review, because I seem to remember there is something about not having cameras at swimming pools so as not to upset mummies and daddies. It’s a sad sad world.

The lido however is completely not sad, at least not in sunny weather. In cold weather it’s less sad than really hard work. So while this distinctly un-British patch continues, go share in the joy. After an exhilarating lane swim, or childish splash, you can go sit on the sun terrace and listen to the gentle lapping of water to dry off the sun. It feels like being on holiday, in a like, hot place.

Hence the following picture is not of the lido, but of a hot place, in France, to bring the right feelings to mind.


The exact nature of drying off allowed is up for debate. Despite the plastic seats there seemed to be a rule of not turning up to the cafe wet, that was mostly being ignored. I figured set hair jeans and my boden towelling hoodie (purchased from ebay, have you seen the price of those things?) would be good enough.

The location is let down by under-delivery in the food provisions. Service was friendly and the cakes and pastries were ok, but the bacon baps were already showing signs of wear… that being an absence of bacon that had to be replaced by sausages (cooked from scratch! And hence taking 40minutes before being served with margarine baps.) They even ran out of Earl Grey tea before we left.

Somebody smart could do something amazing at this place. After all Lewisham swimming pool’s Rhubarb is a real gem, and no less affordable. I’m day dreaming of some sort of The Scullery married to Greenwich council solution, but then I might never ever leave the lido.

Trying to keep fit and eating cake

A review of Rhubarb, the cafe at the Glass Mill gym, Lewisham

I never expected to review a cafe in a gym. A gym cafe always felt like a slight upgrade from the vending machine back when I had swimming lessons. (I was never ever allowed anything from the vending machine.)

Rhubarb though is a real surprise, one sleek corner of the light bright reception of the Glass Mill Swimming Pool, with a counter piled with cake. My advice? Don’t touch the flapjack. It looks good and is sitting next to a brownie, which always helps because in the effort to choose between traybakes, you find yourself imagining good flapjack in your mouth. Do this at Rhubarb, and you will be disappointed. Sorry Rhubarb, the truth hurts.

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I don’t think that this will cause too much concern. The Earl agree tea loaf is excellent. The lemon and blueberry cake melts in the mouth, soft and crumbly and neither too acidic or too sweet. And the other cake options look just great- all the traditional list blooming with a bakery haze. The blackboard says that they had baked all the cakes on site. Where did they find this baker and how did they convince them to work in a swimming pool?

It took us ages to identify the breakfast menu, but it is there and it is not tack. I’ll be honest, having to find the menu amidst the burger filled (and cake) menu in a GYM, and seeing only oats-so-simple with 25% sugar (people do know that oats are simple even when they come out of a sack, right?) led me to expect microwaved bacon and cheese rolls. I was judging harshly. Thick cut white or wholemeal bread swamped in mushrooms and herbed scrambled egg arrived on our place. We’ve even gone so far as to ask if they will do poached eggs (like i said, this is a health suite) So far we’ve been refused.

Tea pigs darjeeling Earl grey in a pot with a glass, was very refreshing. Which is strange, because I seem to remember being quite mean about it at Giraffe. sorry Teapigs, we should chat and make up over a cuppa.

Is it newness? It might be, but I have to say that the bright daylight lit interior with neon pops of colour is wonderfully clean. Which is more than can be said of the changing rooms later in the day… But I am veering dangerously off piste. I’d tell you about the swimming pool, or justify my food choices after a swim but that would take this blog toooo far from it’s titled home. I’d have to start reviewing computer hardware next.<